Inevitable Spring

the Spring brings color again, green again,
yellows, reds and whites,

lavender past the ankles, pink leaves on
overhead trees.

it brings water, too, lots of it.

my heart grows weeds
and I can’t get into the shed

sisters grow old
while a brother grows dead

the yard is unkept
and Juan won’t answer the call,

it’s always placing a call
and never taking it.

the Spring brings rain
and wind,

unpredictable weather,

should I wear pants or shorts?

a hat?

a raincoat?

a sweater?

don’t plan ahead,
what’s the point?

my hair is getting long and curls
in the back.

the barber says, why don’t we cut it off,
maybe do a nice fade?

it’ll make you look younger, he says,
attractive, he says.

I look in the mirror,

I haven’t shaved in 19 days—
there are pubes on my face—

my teeth are crooked and yellowing
from the tobacco and nicotine,

a molar cracked last week
and slit a cheek,

now a canker sore rots the flesh
from within.

my lips are dry, there are bags
under my eyes,

there are hands in my pockets…
everyone’s but mine.

out for my money, for my credit,
for my soul,

I owe the IRS, I owe Liberty Mutual,
I owe Capital One and Duke,

whores want my time,
the tax department want my home.

the Spring brings forth the rats,
placing calls but never taking them.

they won’t get it.

I look at the barber,
I look at him and say,

Fuck you,
what’s the point?

then leave

with nothing else
but my wits about me.